The Dam letter

Sometimes we have to deal with customer responses and resolve issues in a dignified manor.
"The pen (it is said) is mightier than the sword" as you will see!
This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries regarding a pond on his property. It was sent by the Pennsylvania Department of Environmental Quality, State of Pennsylvania . This guy's response is hilarious, but read The State's letter before you get to the response letter. State of Pennsylvania 's letter to Mr. DeVries: SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec 20; Lycoming County Dear Mr. DeVries: It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity.. A review of the Department's files shows that no permits have been issued Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated. The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations.. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2010. Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.. We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.
Sincerely, David L. Price District Representative and Water Management Division.

The response :
Here is the actual response sent back by Mr. DeVries:
Re: DEQ File No.. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Lycoming County
Dear Mr..Price,
Your certified letter dated 11/17/09 has been handed to me. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget Lane , Trout Run, Pennsylvania .
A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood 'debris' dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials 'debris.'
I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic.

These are the beavers/contractors you are seeking. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.
My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers, or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request?
If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through the Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. (Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Pennsylvania Compiled Laws, annotated.)
I have several dam concerns.. My first dam concern is, aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation -- so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer.
The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event, causing flooding, is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names.
If you want the damed stream 'restored' to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers -- but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter, they being unable to read English.
In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams).
So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2010? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice by then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them.
In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real environmental quality, health, problem in the area It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your dam step! The bears are not careful where they dump!
Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.
THANK YOU,
RYAN DEVRIES & THE DAM BEAVERS

Create Moments of Magic

From Seth Hymans top 5

Moments of Truth, Misery & Magicby Shep Hyken, CSP
It's all about creating Moments of Magic! What is a Moment of Magic and where did it come from?In 1986 Jan Carlzon, the former president of Scandinavian Airlines wrote a book, Moments of Truth. In his book, Carlzon defines the moment of truth in business as this:“Anytime a customer comes into contact with any aspect of a business, however remote, is an opportunity to form an impression.”From this simple concept, Jan Carlzon took an airline that was failing and turned it around to be one of the most respected airlines in the industry.Some examples of moments of truth in Jan Carlzon’s airline business are:when you call to make a reservation to take a flight, when you arrive at the airport and check your bags curbside,when you go inside and pick up your ticket at the ticket counter,when you are greeted at the gate,when you are taken care of by the flight attendants onboard the aircraft,and when you are greeted at your destination.All of these are main moments of truth, and notice that they are all controlled by people. There are many moments of truth that are not controlled by people, such as advertisements (radio, television, billboards, newspapers, etc.). The emphasis of this article is on the moments of truth that we, as people, have control over. These are the points of contact that our customers and clients have directly with us and our organization.Mentioned above are a number of the main moments of truth, not just at Jan Carlzon’s airline, but in virtually all commercial airlines. These are the main ones. And while these may be the most important, there are lots of small ones as well. For example, you might be walking toward your gate at the airport and walk by a couple Scandinavian employees. They look up and smile at you. Now that may be a small moment of truth, but it is an important one. It adds to the total experience of the customer.Disney has taken the small moments of truth to an even higher level. They understand the importance that these small moments of truth have on their customers. They train their cast members (Disney’s term for employees) to acknowledge the guest (Disney’s term for a customer) with a smile or facial expression if within ten feet. If the cast member gets within five feet of the guest, they are to acknowledge them verbally. All of the little moments of truth, combined with the major ones, with the addition of the product or service your organization is selling, add up to the overall level of a customer’s satisfaction.Jan Carlzon said there are good moments of truth and bad moments of truth. I believe there is a third type - average moments of truth. Average is middle-of-the-road - simply acceptable, but not great. I have a term for the good and bad ones. The bad ones are referred to as moments of misery, and the good ones are referred to as moments of magic.Our goal should be to create all great moments of magic, even if they start out to be moments of misery. Sometimes a customer may have a legitimate complaint. We not only need to fix problems and complaints, we also need to give customers a reason to want to come back and continue to do business with us again and again. Even if we fix a problem, it doesn’t mean the customer is coming back. For example, if you own a restaurant and one of your guest’s meals is over cooked, don’t simply fix it or take it off of the bill. Consider giving the guest a business card with a note that gives him or her a round of drinks or a free appetizer the next time they come back.At times these moments of misery may not even be our fault. The customer may just be having a terrible day. For example, a customer may be checking into a hotel. This person may have had three flights delayed and he or she is in a very bad mood. It is not the hotel’s fault the customer is unhappy due to the airline’s delayed flights. But, it is the person who is checking in this irate customer who has the opportunity to start to turn the customer’s mood around. It is an opportunity to take someone else’s moment of misery and turn it into the hotel’s moment of magic.So, manage your moments of truth. Seize every one of them, even if they are moments of misery, as opportunities to show how good you and your organization are. This will go a long way in building long-term customer loyalty and total customer satisfaction.
Shep Hyken, CSP is a professional speaker and author who works with companies who want to develop loyal relationships with their customers and employees. For more information on Shep’s speaking programs, books, tapes and learning programs contact (314)692-2200 or Shep@hyken.com. (http://www.hyken.com)

a play on banned buzzwords

We need some face time with the lexicon of the industry with some banned buzzwords that have been pushing the envelope of productivity. Because on the ground there are a lot of Parking lot issues about kicking the tires of post-mortem, process driven, eager beavers standing on the platform, picking the pockets of resistance. The next steps are to take a quick hit and pull the trigger so we can bury this one outside the box while taking a Helicopter view of lessons learned by using banned buzzwords.
The other day I was taking a thought shower and dropped the soap while trying to Throw it against the wall and see if it sticks I slipped and fell Under the bus which was moving forward on the ground floor in the third sector with a ten thousand foot view of wordsmithing wishlist of water cooler Solutions that make up this blog.
Yes I am trying to be transparent and uber seamless in utilizing the words I am not supposed to use in this songsheet of tools that socialize the issues of what we are not supposed to use in meaningful dialog.
They say it is mission critical that I transfer knowledge upon you due to my out of the loop mindset and vast experience in the jobjar! The real deal here is the game plan we have because it’s that time of year again to facilitate our competencies build up the bottom line of our community of learners so we can enhance the environment of blue sky thinking thus becoming the best of breed when it comes to empowering the core values of this department.

The best practice here is not to get caught in the eddies or with them while crosscutting and drilling down to that simple plan of brining the bells and whistles to the cost cutting of the consumer-centric that is our customer.
The game changer here is to have a heads up on the high level expectations of our off the shelf clientele
Leveraging our experience with multi-tasking . put the best foot forward on the path to success lest we get caught in the perfect storm of slippage into the synergistic talking points that get far too streamlined into top down warm and fuzzy feelings toward sustainable world –class and tested for soundness technical support.
There I have used them all ,the list of words and phrases some visionary in Marketing has told us not to use. These words are spewed out in some surreal songsheet of conversation with the client, as we do not know what the hell we are saying. Using this blog as a temperature gauge of our written communications with each other and the end user as well our fellow cohorts will keep us in the forefront of lasting ownership of the situation and solution of the client needs. So at the end of business we are on the same page as the other departments without confusing the other guys with a bunch of nonsense!

When the rubber hits the road the competition will be pushed off the platform, on the ground floor running under the bus because we just dropped the dime on them!

Fostering Good Customer Relations on the front line

Customer loyalty is built on customer relations. The front desk clerk, the counter clerk or even the security guards can make or break your business based on the impression they leave with customers. Whether you are in a service-oriented business, manufacturing, education or the health care field, your goal is to make that first impression lasting and gain loyalty from customers.

No matter what type of business you are in, the following are standard guidelines in handling customer relations:
1.Make the customer feel like royalty when attending to them. Pamper your customers. You must have well-oriented and well-trained customer relations personnel to assist them. Everyone in the selling area or in the place where customers are expected to move around must know their job. Keep your customer relations personnel updated on how to handle customers. This has proven to be an effective way of keep customers and get them to return. Make customers feel like they are part of the company, or a member of your corporate family. Value them.
2.Handle complaints properly. Each one of us has been customers of various establishments. We know that a customer is always right , and as companies we should stand by that principle. The basic steps in handling customer complaints are to listen, validate the complaint and act on it promptly. The key to handling customer complaint is to act quickly. It is said that one dissatisfied customer equates to hundreds of thousands of lost sales, since word of mouth travels. Protect the company from losing more because of one complaint.

The performance of the customer relations department plays an integral part in helping the company sell whatever product or service they are offering. Needless to say, customer relations should be a paramount concern, especially for your front line workers.
Source:
http://blog.allegiance.com
This tid bit comes with permission from
Chris Cottle
VP Marketing
Allegiance

Instant Karma

Looked this up and what a Find!!!
Hot Heads and Karma - It All Works Out
Perspective and patience. It's a challenge especially in a lightning-fast business world filled with Type A's, cro-magnons, and Machiavellian punks (read The Prince for more detail on this last point). It's enough to make a sane person lose their mind (and in the case of the insane like myself, it means we have to attend therapy more frequently than we already do).Bad behavior happens every day. There's classic micro-management where your superior is giving detailed instructions on how you should adjust your desk chair. There's cro-magnonesque screaming and berating of subordinates who are doing nothing but their best yet market forces stall their efforts. There are the up-and-comers who behave like the fastest way to the top involves stepping on the backs, heads, and faces of those around them. And my favorite, the office politics and intrigue that would impress even the most conniving CIA and KGB veterans of the cold war. You confront these and other onerous acts daily. So what can you do?You have a few choices. You can play their game. You can get so bent out of shape over it you look like a bag of Rold Gold pretzels. You can focus on what matters and, like Jason Lee on "My Name is Earl," believe in Karma. Let's dissect these...Playing their game: Sure this approach offers instant gratification. They scream; you scream. They micro-manage, you micro-manage. They drag their knuckles and you do the same. Unfortunately this can be very satisfying in the near term. When you get screamed at, it's very fulfilling to go "kick the dog" (a euphemism for abusing your people). Why? It helps reestablish the power equation. When you're berated, you are effectively powerless in the face of the onslaught. As humans, we seek equilibrium and when we lose power in one situation we seek to regain it in another. This can manifest itself in the form of berating your team, taking it out on friends and family or in the most extreme form, kicking the dog (literally). If I need to elaborate on why this approach is dangerous, call me. You need help.You can also play the game of the up and comers. The problem is, they're better at it than you are because they've practiced it longer. Your team and colleagues will see right through it. Short term, it might get you ahead which is problematic because those rewards reinforce the belief that this is a winning strategy. Longer term, no one will work with you because no one trusts you. Once again, if I need to elaborate, seek help.Get Bent: Another strategy is to accept the behavior and adopt the "woe is me" victim approach. Do nothing but belly ache. You can internalize the behavior to the point that it affects your self-esteem and your health. It becomes the subject of water cooler griping and eventually poisons both you and the organization. Prescription medications even begin to enter the equation (or even worse - non-prescription "medications" to eliminate the stress). Once again, not really a viable strategy. This one tends to shorten your life span.Focus and Karma: This is the hardest approach of all because there is no near-term instant gratification payoff. It requires setting aside all the bad behavior and focusing on what you actually get paid for. You also have to become The Human Crapshield for your team and coworkers. If you're in a customer facing business, figure out how to serve them better (Hello airlines? Are you listening?). If you're a "support" function, go support your internal customer better than ever. Figure out how to have an impact and focus on those tasks maniacally despite the exogenous factors that are driving you up the wall. A funny thing happens when you spend more of your time focused on important stuff - you have less time and energy to focus on the stupidity and bad behaviors. You lower your risk of being hot headed and engaging in a career limiting move (and yes, there are occasions where I wish I personally had adopted this approach but instead "played their game" - it didn't work out so well...)."But Mike, what about the bad actors? When do they get theirs?" Patience grasshopper. That's all I can say. It all comes out in the wash at some point. They play their game so long that eventually people see them for what they are and teams depart or they end up "pursuing other opportunities." Bad things eventually happen. It's a leap of faith, I know. The thing is, do you really want to have that instant vengeance attached to your name? Is that how you want to be known professionally? If the answer is a resounding "no" and I hope it is, then you have no other choice but to continue doing the right things and letting the world sort out the rest. That's the great thing about a market economy - people eventually vote with their feet and the invisible hand of the market eventually reaches out and smacks the cro-mag across his bony protruding forehead.Be patient. Focus on the right outcomes. Protect your team. Only emulate the behaviors you want to be known for. It'll all work out in the end...- Mike Figliuolo at thoughtLEADERS, LLC