a play on banned buzzwords

We need some face time with the lexicon of the industry with some banned buzzwords that have been pushing the envelope of productivity. Because on the ground there are a lot of Parking lot issues about kicking the tires of post-mortem, process driven, eager beavers standing on the platform, picking the pockets of resistance. The next steps are to take a quick hit and pull the trigger so we can bury this one outside the box while taking a Helicopter view of lessons learned by using banned buzzwords.
The other day I was taking a thought shower and dropped the soap while trying to Throw it against the wall and see if it sticks I slipped and fell Under the bus which was moving forward on the ground floor in the third sector with a ten thousand foot view of wordsmithing wishlist of water cooler Solutions that make up this blog.
Yes I am trying to be transparent and uber seamless in utilizing the words I am not supposed to use in this songsheet of tools that socialize the issues of what we are not supposed to use in meaningful dialog.
They say it is mission critical that I transfer knowledge upon you due to my out of the loop mindset and vast experience in the jobjar! The real deal here is the game plan we have because it’s that time of year again to facilitate our competencies build up the bottom line of our community of learners so we can enhance the environment of blue sky thinking thus becoming the best of breed when it comes to empowering the core values of this department.

The best practice here is not to get caught in the eddies or with them while crosscutting and drilling down to that simple plan of brining the bells and whistles to the cost cutting of the consumer-centric that is our customer.
The game changer here is to have a heads up on the high level expectations of our off the shelf clientele
Leveraging our experience with multi-tasking . put the best foot forward on the path to success lest we get caught in the perfect storm of slippage into the synergistic talking points that get far too streamlined into top down warm and fuzzy feelings toward sustainable world –class and tested for soundness technical support.
There I have used them all ,the list of words and phrases some visionary in Marketing has told us not to use. These words are spewed out in some surreal songsheet of conversation with the client, as we do not know what the hell we are saying. Using this blog as a temperature gauge of our written communications with each other and the end user as well our fellow cohorts will keep us in the forefront of lasting ownership of the situation and solution of the client needs. So at the end of business we are on the same page as the other departments without confusing the other guys with a bunch of nonsense!

When the rubber hits the road the competition will be pushed off the platform, on the ground floor running under the bus because we just dropped the dime on them!

Under pressure (The cost of being a customer)

Some time ago I was approached with a demonstration for my nephew. This was his new job and he is selling fire alarm systems for homes. This is pretty good stuff I might add.
The demonstration was filled with newsy stuff about the dynamics of a fire and all that happens in the 2 or 3 seconds you have to collect your thoughts and get to action getting out (best bet) or put it out which is not always your best bet.
We agreed we needed the system and promised to purchase one when the time was right.
Well 2 months later we had a fire and all the commotion that followed (see other posts), Then after long last the insurance paid off and we were in the process of getting the Garage rebuilt This is not complete as of yet but we are close.
So my Nephew calls us the other day and asked if we were ready to buy the system ($3,000 worth), “But Uncle you really need this after all you have already had a fire. (National average is one fire in a life time, typically) I am not typical.. by no means! Well I said I did promise to by one but all in good time. I want the house finished before I get this (a big choice was an a/c unit or this).Then the second call came in “But Uncle I have to have my work order in by the end of the week” I asked “ is your boss pushing you? “Sorta”. I told him I would call back.
In discussion with my wife she said we needed the system but we still need to finish the garage. I agreed and called him back “we want to wait about a month” . “But you promised!” I asked “Are they still bugging you?” Now it is the regional manager he replied.
Then came the text messages, the voice mails and only an hour had passed. “ Can we do the paper work and install it now? I can put the application through and you can pay later?” “That would be fine but Credit is something the fire helped to remove from me along with my tolerance for pushy salesmen!
A week passed after I exclaimed “Enough! I will buy when I am DAMN GOOD AND READY!! At a family picnic my nephew was there and the boss showed up. “Hey give him a break, I really didn’t like the way you yelled at him!” “Expletive deleted” Pat! ( This is a family site ya know) I will buy it when I am ready and I still have added expenses with the Garage as it is.” Well we will talk later he said. That reminded me of the little kid in the movies that shakes his fist and says I will get even!
I was at the Grand Fathers Day celebration and sure enough (you guessed it) he was there!
“OKAY!” I will fill out the paper work!, “Oh then you’re ready to install?
NO! Paperwork that’s all! Oh! he said with great disappointment.
“By the way I have to go to a friends house so I can pick Cherries for Grandpa, Want to come with me?”
“Sure”
Some Friend (dare I say Fiend) He takes me to Pats house to pick cherries. While ther the topic of the application came up. I said ok. Then before we left the car was filled with alarms and detectors and a free gift or three. The next day I was once again pressured to fill out the application. “Wait The Bank information is missing!” That’s Right I said (I never intended a credit application to be completed) “But I will get in deep trouble if it isn’t filled out the proper way!” This was his first solo sales gig.
My Nephew was very upset I was feeling pressure from him. His boss and my wife (family thing ya know?) I Exclaimed, “ALRIGHT, DAMN IT!” Her take this check and get out!
I am 3,000 dollars lighter and much relieved that if I have a fire that I have 2 or 3 seconds to get out or put the damn thing out and my homeowners insurance (who ever it will be with) (see posts) will be 25% less!
Ring a ding!
The Frustrating thing is that I succumbed to higher than normal pressure, I Bought the thing not to save my home or save money or protect my home (all the right reasons and was going to happen anyway) but to get them off my back! This was a bad customer move. Note to sales department: use leverage but not pressure.
Use the unfortunate event do not prey upon it and last but not least never do this with a family member.
My Nephew is happy, I am protected, Family is safe and I am a better customer for the experience!
Next week you should see my new Garage! I hope!

Hey, It's not my job!

This is a story about four people named Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody.

There was an important job to be done and Everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure Somebody would do it. Anybody could have done it, but Nobody did it.

Somebody got angry about that, because it was Everybody's job. Everybody thought Anybody could do it but Nobody realized that Everybody wouldn't do it.

It ended up that Everybody blamed Somebody when Nobody did what Anybody could have done.
Source: www.comedy-zone.net

Who’s job is it? All of ours. When we need to get to the bottom of an issue, it is not abnormal to go to Client services or sales to get an answer and communicate the information you received back to the customer. I have led Sales to new clients or added services to a customers program. This is not unusual, as this is how teams work together. The 4 people in the above story remind me of places I have worked at in the past. Where everyone knew it wasn’t their job.

Fostering Good Customer Relations on the front line

Customer loyalty is built on customer relations. The front desk clerk, the counter clerk or even the security guards can make or break your business based on the impression they leave with customers. Whether you are in a service-oriented business, manufacturing, education or the health care field, your goal is to make that first impression lasting and gain loyalty from customers.

No matter what type of business you are in, the following are standard guidelines in handling customer relations:
1.Make the customer feel like royalty when attending to them. Pamper your customers. You must have well-oriented and well-trained customer relations personnel to assist them. Everyone in the selling area or in the place where customers are expected to move around must know their job. Keep your customer relations personnel updated on how to handle customers. This has proven to be an effective way of keep customers and get them to return. Make customers feel like they are part of the company, or a member of your corporate family. Value them.
2.Handle complaints properly. Each one of us has been customers of various establishments. We know that a customer is always right , and as companies we should stand by that principle. The basic steps in handling customer complaints are to listen, validate the complaint and act on it promptly. The key to handling customer complaint is to act quickly. It is said that one dissatisfied customer equates to hundreds of thousands of lost sales, since word of mouth travels. Protect the company from losing more because of one complaint.

The performance of the customer relations department plays an integral part in helping the company sell whatever product or service they are offering. Needless to say, customer relations should be a paramount concern, especially for your front line workers.
Source:
http://blog.allegiance.com
This tid bit comes with permission from
Chris Cottle
VP Marketing
Allegiance

It is Time for Exorcise! Phone Skills

This is from The “Customer Service Advantage”


A survet shows one in three customers are happy after hanging up.


It might be time to brush up on your phone skills.
Reason: Only 32% of customers had a positive experience when calling Customer Service recently, a Huffington Post survey found.

Build rapport, give the right answer:

Customers complained they either didn’t get the right answer or the person they talked to wasn’t friendly.
Both issues can be resolved with a little training.
For product or service training, ask the people who develop them to visit your area. Have the service pros make a list of questions they hear the most and ask the experts how they’d respond.

For soft skill training, ask your people to share their best rapport building statement. Compile a list and post it near everyone desk.

Source: Relationship Marketing Insights.

Post note we have funny quotes on the wall that we have made or heard, but how about adding the positive quotes we get and give to our clients. Does sales have any key lines of conversation that help build rapport and trust? How about Client services, They deal with upset people on a regular basis They could help with what works with smoothing feather after the disaster strikes!

Build a relation ship…Tips

From the “ Customer Service Advantage”

Four ways to Build relationships and loyalty in short spans of time:

In our business we are the first face of our services so we are responsible for maintaining the relationships the Client Service Managers have established.

Use your time well

Be a wizard at alternative solutions.
Use these four tips to build relationships and customer loyalty during short interactions:
Being creative often means you save customers time and/or money- they will stick around for that.
Brainstorm with co-workers in your department and outside for alternatives to situations that arise.

Listen then repeat

Customers are under pressure to cut costs, save money, do more, etc., in their lives and work.
They want/need a sounding board when they complain or explain their issue.
If you act as one and prove you heard them by repeating their story, they will take your advice and come back for more.

Deliver small acts of kindness
You don’t have to give away the store, but you can build goodwill by giving something useful from time to time. For instance we have a new feature that may help them down the road. If you briefly explain the new feature they will become interested in it and want to know more. Guide them to the customer portal for more information.

Give your best customers a voice

This is the time to make your best customers feel more even more valuable.
Ask them to post on the forum page to let others know how the system works for them and how they get the most out of the service. This feedback will be very valuable to improve customer service and help maintain a healthy relationship with the clients.

Source: “Soothing the Savaged Soul: Customer Love When Times are Tough” by Jeanne Bliss, The Customer Service Institute of America’s Customer Service Excellence, 02/09.

Do not grieve, it is logical - Spock

The man that inspired my quest for enlightenment has passed away.
When asked “What was your inspiration for the Character Kwai Chang Caine?” he replied with little emotion and lots of logic. "Spock" was his answer with his half smile.
This Brief biography is from the WIKIPEDIA

Born John Arthur Carradine
December 8, 1936
Hollywood, California
Died June 3, 2009 (aged 72)
Bangkok, Thailand
Occupation actor, producer, director
Years active 1963 - 2009

Early life

Carradine was born in Hollywood, California, the son of Ardanelle Abigail (née McCool) and noted American actor John Carradine.[4] He was the brother of Bruce Carradine and half-brother of Keith and Robert Carradine, as well as the uncle of Ever Carradine and Martha Plimpton. Carradine had Irish, English, Scottish, Welsh, German, Spanish, Italian, Ukrainian and Cherokee ancestry.[5] Carradine studied drama at San Francisco State University before working as an actor on stage as well as in television and cinema. He changed his given name to David after starting his career.


Career

Carradine was known for his roles as Kwai Chang Caine in the 1970s television series Kung Fu (as well as the sequels in the 1980s and 1990s), as well as 'Big' Bill Shelly in Martin Scorsese's Boxcar Bertha (1972), folksinger Woody Guthrie in Bound for Glory (1976), Abel Rosenberg in Ingmar Bergman's The Serpent's Egg (1977), and as Bill in Quentin Tarantino's Kill Bill, Vols. 1 & 2 (2003, 2004, respectively).

Other notable roles included the lead in Shane (the 1966 television series based upon the 1949 novel of the same name) and a gunslinger in Taggart, a 1964 western film based on a novel by Louis L'Amour. He also starred in the Broadway version of the play The Royal Hunt of the Sun in 1965. More recently, he portrayed Tempus, a powerful demon with the ability to manipulate time, on the hit television series Charmed, as well as Conrad in the television series Alias. Carradine twice played a supernatural being with the power to control time: "Tempus" on Charmed and "Clockwork" on Danny Phantom.

Carradine appeared in an episode of Lizzie McGuire, and also provided his voice for the King of the Hill episode, Returning Japanese, in which he voiced the character of Hank's Japanese half-brother. He provided the voice for Lo Pei, the ancient warrior who was responsible for Shendu's petrification in the animated series Jackie Chan Adventures.

Carradine was also known for producing and starring in several exercise videos teaching the martial arts of Tai chi and Qi Gong. Carradine actually had no knowledge of martial arts prior to starring in the series Kung Fu, but developed an interest in it after this experience and became an avid practitioner.

Carradine appeared as the host of Wild West Tech on the History Channel, taking over the duties from his brother Keith. He narrated the PBS anthropology series "Faces of Culture". In 2006, he became the spokesman for Yellowbook, a publisher of independent telephone directories in the United States. He was also the TV spokesperson for Lipton[6] ("This ain't no sippin' tea"), in a memorable commercial where he paid homage not only to Kung Fu, but also to the Three Stooges.

Carradine also appeared in the music video for "Minus You" by the southern California band Chapel of Thieves, which was co-directed by the YouTube personality Boh3m3. He also worked with the Jonas Brothers in their video Burnin' Up, playing a Kung Fu Master, and planned to work with Miley Cyrus. In 2009, he played a 100 year-old Chinese gangster in Crank: High Voltage.

Carradine signing autographs in Malmö, 2005

[edit]
Personal life

Carradine was married five times and had two daughters, Calista Miranda and Kansas.[1] On December 26, 2004, he married his wife Annie,[1] at the seaside Malibu home of his friend, Michael Madsen. His attorney and his wife’s longtime friend, Vicki Roberts, performed the ceremony.
Rest in Peace Kwai Chang Caine